Love kills, drills you through your heart
Love kills, scars you from the start
I recently moved on from the most important bond I’ve ever had in SL, a friendship often on the verge of something more. The type of relationship that easily affects your emotional state from how deep your feelings are rooted. From day one, this was an intense, rare connection that left me wanting more, I had never experienced anything like that. In fact, aside from my RL best friend, I’ve never met someone who understood me and my humour so much. Conversations were effortless, jokes were plenty and I felt incredibly lucky to have stumbled across someone so in sync with me.
Emotions are funny things and often get in the way and sometimes wreck and ruin things that are otherwise perfect. A friendship is never really the same way again once that happens, simply because you want to evolve from being “just friends”. The situation grew complex and there were times where I felt our situation was going in circles, ultimately leading me to disappointment and sadness. You’d be right to think it sounds tiring, it was.
Some things just have a life span, I guess. That’s what I’ve chosen to accept and believe. After another occurrence that left me feeling hurt and lied to, I had to question whether it was worth continuing this endless cycle. The details here don’t matter, what mattered most was that I had to finally start putting myself first. And go through with it this time. With a heavy heart, I removed all contact with this person and my head feels clearer than it has been in a long time. I have some awesome memories and I wish them well, but enough was enough.
If someone (or something) isn’t making you happy, perhaps it’s a good idea to step back and look at things from a different perspective. When we look for love and companionship, we don’t want to be second best, or even third best, we want to be adored and cherished like the selfish little needy humans we are! I have my flaws, I can be all of those mentioned qualities. However, I’m decisive, caring and absolutely loyal once I let you into my heart. I figured I deserve that in return.
Apologies for my rambling. I can be far too long-winded for my own good, although it’s certainly therapeutic to just write and write and write… even if no one’s reading! I hope this post finds you well and you’re surrounded by those that adore you. 🙂